when first he heard the cawing

he hit his 23rd lap of the clapping tree
short of breath hands stinging
he collapsed to his back
eyes closed
ears open
arms legs splayed 

when first he heard the cawing

 charge of the big five
blur blink blur blink blink
yellow mustard on burnt toast
lumpy cool
salty
caw
these suffered predictability
he had done the mosey thru these woods
he had clapped the tree
laughed till his navel struck his spine
by tens
by hundreds even

 yet
this moment was not familiar
but rather
an illusion of familiar
the awareness of which filled him with arrival 

the caw filtered thru layers of hackneyed reflexes
piercing the armor of rumination
slipping by the i of reply to
dip in a pool of light reserved by intent
he marveled at the might of it 

caw
caw
what you got to say
what you got to say"

 at the blink of his attention
the barker lifted pine to flight
a pinch
a fastening
a tug
an uncorking
the empty what was
flickered as a flame 

caw
oh my
caw caw
oh my word
caw caw caw
oh my words matter 

there then
what he thought to who we was
caused a caw caw clawing from within 

panic
rocked him
rolled him
shook him
the flame the flame the flame the flame
hold the flame
but
some him saw
not the flame
he saw
the mojo workin
he saw
his varied own selves dancing the flame
he saw
the flame become eternal
the internal infinite 

he had no notion
of this commotion
but
it was done and done
when first he heard the cawing

there he was with nothing
there was ever so much of it
he shifted forward into the past
moments ago give or take a few caws
just shy of where the present lie in wait
clock hands methodically erased numbers
bringing time to now 

he wondered
when time is not now
and
if
time is always now
why is
to
be here now
so difficult 

and
the sky waffled
and
the woods shimmied
and
the ground hopped
and
then
it was
not
so difficult 

collodi plied him for this
he is now
he was now
he will be now
now now now
caw caw caw
to be a real boy 

he lie on his back
under the noon day sun
gazing up at the still of the night
watching a murmur of starlings
perch upon stars as a murder of crows
blackbirds shining in the dead of night
ever so slowly they leaned forward
4 and 20 heads
became one
cawing